Kamu Bilang Kamu Cinta

Hari ini kamu bilang kamu cinta aku.

Ya bagus. Karena aku telah menunggu kamu untuk bilang begitu. Aku sudah berdoa agar kamu bisa merasa begitu untukku. Tapi kenapa aku ragu, ya?

Kenapa aku justru jadi ragu saat kamu bilang kamu cinta aku? Padahal itu adalah jawaban atas segala doaku. Ah, mungkin karena sedari dulu awal kita menjalin kasih lalu putus, kamu masih juga belum bisa merasa sayang padaku.

Apa sih, yang bisa membuatmu akhirnya jatuh cinta padaku?

Padahal kamu bilang dulu kamu ga bisa sayang sama aku.

Sekarang kok...?

Ah, mas Puput...

Kamu ini jawaban atas segala doaku. Perasaanmu akhirnya membalas perasaanku. Tapi aku justru mempertanyakan itu. Semoga ini tak sekedar khayalku, tak cuma mimpi, atau isapan jempol belaka.

Tetaplah mencintaiku, kapten.

Soft, Gentle, Warm, and Sweet

You laid me upon that thin bed sheet, just next on your left. Then you kissed my cheek. Soft, gentle, warm, and sweet. I could easily feel your chin hair--your rough, soft, slight beard. One kiss, two kisses, three. And then you smiled at me. Oh I knew that smile. Angelic yet devilish smile that you were looking at my lips. You hug me instead.

Your hands were still on my hips when you smiled at me. And still, you looked into my lips. Here, baby, here, I would give you my lips. Not because you wanted to kiss them but it was me who was also longing to be kissed. Here, baby, here, kiss them, make them sucked into you warm mouth and fill my desiring curiousity up. With you, for you, I want to...

You had my nose stroked with your nose. Couple times. I liked it. Until you evidently kissed my lips. It was a very simple peck on my lips. And you smiled again. And let go off your hands of me. I sat on that bed. You went off from the bed, closed the door. You laid on the bed again, smiled at me, you wanted me to lay beside you again. I laid. You hug me again. Smiled that half-devil smile again. Then you had one peck on my lips. Then one simple kiss when I had my lips closed. Then you kissed them again, then I couldn't take it, I couldn't help it. It was the third time you were attempting to french-kiss me. And my thoughts were blurred by the softness of your lips, by the warm situation, by that kind of feeling that I wanted to be kissed--and to kiss.

There I was, opened my lips just to let yours in. There we were. Had our very first and awkward kiss. One kiss, two kiss, three... I couldn't remember. We just had a lot.

With my eyes still closed, I let go off my lips from yours. We smiled. Awkward but satisfying. Until you want me to be on your right. I moved. We changed position. You stroked my nose with yours again. Then I was on top when we french kissed again. At that time you braved your tounge out. We kissed. We enjoyed that a lot. We kissed. Soft, gentle, and warm... I could feel lips inside my mouth... and your tounge... and my lips that you played with... soft... gentle... and oh so wet... We couldn't stop. We didn't stop. I still had my eyes closed. I didn't care about the world. About the rain that was falling hard that time. Nor I care that it was my very last hours that I could spend with you before I finally got back to the Capital City.

There baby, there. In your room, upon your bed, we kissed, and kissed, and kissed, and yes you still wanted me to play with your tounge...

You went down to my neck, peck that one long time.


Baby I was so overwhelmed. You gave me just way too much of what I had asked for...

Later the next day you told me it was your very first kiss. Baby, it was my very first kiss too. My very first, long, wet, soft, gentle, long french kiss..

PSI . DH

Griya Cempaka

"KALIMANTAN." katamu, saat kamu memeluk tubuhku erat di kasur itu, setelah kita menikmati nikmatnya bercumbu.
       "Kalo kamu ikut aku ke Kalimantan, kita ngontrak (rumah) disana." Kamu, dengan impianmu untuk bekerja di pulau itu. Dan kali ini, kamu menambahkan aku dalam rencanamu.
       "Hmm, tapi beda kamar?" tanyaku, sambil aku melihat wajahmu, yang mungkin hanya berjarak lima sentimeter dari wajahku. Sambil aku membelai rambutmu, dan kamu memeluk erat pinggangku.
       "Nggaklah," jawabmu, cepat. "nanti kita ke KUA. Di Kalimantan." lalu kamu menatap mataku, bibirku. Aku tau kamu ingin melumatnya lagi. Aku tersenyum, menggigit bibir.
       Hatiku bergetar. Hanya angan, cuma rencana. Impian prematur saat kita tau perjalanan kita masih saaaangaat panjang. Tapi aku tetap merasa senang. Kalimat tadi, sayang, adalah kata kata paling romantis yang pernah kamu ucapkan selama ini. Dalam hati, aku sungguh sungguh meng-aamiin-inya.
       Lalu kamu melirik ke langit-langit. "Hayoo, kamu mikir apa lagi?" karena aku tau, kamu pasti sedang berfikir kalau kamu begitu.
       Dan kamu menatapku. Padaku yang sedang senang dan tersenyum. Kemudian kamu bertanya, pertanyaan paling meruntuhkan dunia, walau hanya satu kalimat, namun mampu merobohkan satu candi bahagiaku yang telah aku warnai cerah; "kalo kita gak jodoh gimana?"
       Aku tersenyum saja. Walau dihati terasa aneh, aku tetap tersenyum, dan bilang, "aku gak tau, aku gak tau."
       Lalu kupeluk kamu lagi.

Yogyakarta, 17/3/2013

Griya Cempaka, Kamar Nomor 8

Condong catur, Depok, Sleman
PSI . DH

My Jogjakarta King

My Dearest Sweetheart,

You have successfully add one more important date to my life. You colour my nights with your voice. Praise to Graham Bell for his struggle to invent the what-so-call telephone, cause oh darling, I've spent 22 years of my life waiting for such warm, romantic, heart-to-heart phone calls like you always do.

My Jogjakarta King, no matter how miles far we are apart from one each other, would you believe that this feeling I have goes only to you?

The kisses you made through the phone, the hugs you gave through the phone... I love it, darling. I love you. I am happy--I've never been this happy before. But darling, deep inside, something kills me. Cause I wish every night you were here with me. Right next to me, with my head on your shoulder. With your musk smell all over the air I'm breathing. With your fingers fill in the emptiness of my finger spaces.

Since I miss you even stronger each day.

Oh look, dear. The moon shines wonderfully upon us. Will you tell me, darling, will you tell me that we are looking at the same moon? Though you are in your city, and me in mine.

You are the only one who come alive from my dreams. Being your girl now still feels like a dream. A fantasy. A living fantasy. Praise to Allah for making the dreams came true, cause oh darling, I have been struggling in my prayers just to be able to see you. To feel you. To be beside you.

Sweetheart, would you trust me that there's no precious man other than you who stays in my heart? Would you trust me, my darling, that I will keep the trust that you also give to me and I breathe that into life?

Cause you, my dear, you are the only one I have faith on. Your name is the only name I mention on my every prayers. Your face, is the only face that wander around my mind everyday. Your body is the thing I really want to hold on to. Your shoulder, I believe, is the right place for me to rely my head on to.

I wanna come home to you, my King. I wanna be your Queen in your Kingdom, living the rest of our days together in the Palace you've built for us.

It was on January 8th, 2013. But it has started long ago before we finally came to realise, to be honest, to give it a chance, to let it happen, to finally free our true feelings we have kept.

You, my love, you are the one. And I pray for you to be my only one.

Would you please, my Jogjakarta King, please pray the same prayer too?

In this California king bed
We're ten thousand miles apart
I've been California wishing on these stars
For your heart for me
My California Jogjakarta King 

I love you, PSI ♡