Dear God,

now here i am.
sitting on a red old couch.
my mind goes here and there, flying everywhere, imagining every inch of your body i wish i could touch.

patethic, i will always be.

God, why'd you create me?????

what can i do just to be with you? just to tell you that i need you tonight and please dont go...i would do anything for you...

every night i pray, for you to come and save me for all eternity...



dear Allah, the almighty,

i had enough of lying myself, why cant You see that?
i had so enough of standing alone and be lonely, why cant You notice that?
and i had enough of telling people lies and lies just to let them know that im not lonely!
and i had enough of pretending to be independent while i'm not!

..and i had so much enough of crying myself alone at night and why cant You hear that?!

say that,

' it's OK for me to do anything alone, im not lonely, im just being independent.'

such a bullshit of sweet lie just to make myself better from the hard hard situation.

why cant you just make me be the almost same like others? im totally pitiful.


he's all i ever wanted, i always wanted him to be mine..